Seeing the breaks
Coming out the side
A short ride in a fast arrow
will no longer hit it’s aim.
Don’t dig for fire
Don’t stir the earth
Whole through the other side
Leave narrow way back
Leave your pieces behind.
I’ll find you again
You’re a divide
You deserve what you choose.
Choose what you leave behind.
I might only be half in, and it worries.
I could be all in, but my heart’s then on the line.
Breaking it again will screw, my thoughts will grow pessimism.
It could be the most wonderful thing,
but it could be the most tragic.
Heart soft and fragile simultaneous,
History and the things your throwaway
mean little for a falling in full.
It’s always scary, but full-on frightens.
So many ruins left
Destroying both kinds of feeling.
Are you ready? You aren’t.
Fervent hope it comes to you, in experience, in dream, in moral character
Trust in the intimate changed dynamic.
Dynamic change scares.
I’d gone Bad Girl.
I’ve done Soft Girl.
Never for me, never, except the challenge, and passive.
We still, after this, all this time.
My heart and my trust are fragile.
I couldn’t handle, sometimes I couldn’t handle.
So off to the corner, off to contemplate.
What I am wrong, how. What people are wrong, and why.
What, what do I want now? I want
trust and openness and monogamy.
I want something more for a person able to exude it; many do.
But your thoughtless your life scare me away, away far,
Far as it can go.
And run, I hedge, I realize the wrong.
I look, now, for stability; it’s that age.
I might in terror settle down. The work,
the work takes effort beyond the physical.
The wait, the wait, come torture me for a spell.
At the bar, invitations
I’ll take you up.
Thoughts grow too big to mind
And you force a call to you.
You knew me, taunt me,
Wet click of tongue down the wire
And the crackling static, “I’m cruel but I’m soft
“I’ll become colours you want,
“Stripes, dots, blushes.
“Just for tonight.”
There’s no thin wall between us.
This is dangerous talk.
Why to be serious
When hurt’s so much better?
Why to talk longer
If consequence, death?
Why take a compliment
When brasher’s an insult
and abolished apologies
Have much more breath?