Heat blowing under the skin,
bubbling and blistering the mind.
Another bed set fire
and the cold arm of a long-haired preacher.
The season starts again come morning,
and all ceilings look the same.
Another sneaking footstep;
the fake lids of the otherwise awake.
First to the chill dawn,
and impressions in the new snow.
I value you,
I love being alone with you,
talking our nonsense
the laughter and frivolity.
I love it when you feel so free
As to admit another male aquaintance you’ve slept with,
How you remember it can’t hurt, shouldn’t hurt,
How it reminds me I’m a sounding board,
And good for nothing else;
Reminds me I’m not up to snuff
and not a real human person;
That I’ve gone beyond with my elastic feelings
that can bear the weight and bounce back into round.
That I can take it, and as a friend,
I should and have to.
That this happens is test and proof of a special bond.
Let’s pretend it’s not a time bomb.
Let’s pretend you think it doesn’t hurt.
Let’s pretend it can’t drive me away
Soon or eventually.
I have a dime,
And a stone.
Enough to sink my bones.
Enough to pay the ferryman,
And leave something in my will.
“Perhaps we should carry on…”.
We had our sanity,
A child’s sanity,
For a short–too short–a while.
As teens we turned sanity on its head
And how good it was
How much figuring it out we did.
Many went happily on
Some of us got electrocuted by something
Laid out hard, sometimes making things better
In a sense
Some times burning us hard.
We know we won’t live long. Now we’re creative,
Outcasts, retards, socially inept,
Not normal, like the people who get frustrated with us,
Who frustrate us,
Because they’re so fucking routine stoic normal
To the point where you want to shake them or
Leave them, or get so upset with them
That you don’t want their world anymore.
Sometimes I think, through example, I can cope.
But I get normal advice from normal people
And I ditch the ones I truly love.
I’m alone amongst the sanes,
I am bored, I am lonely, and I want to leave them.
I will leave this place for nowhere.
Î can’t be a child again.
I can’t ruin anything anymore
Somewhere, people like me have a mansion
A mansion painted purple,
Where we can draw on the walls,
And keep closed the blinds.