You Were Unexpected

I hadn’t heard from you in lifetimes,
And would never have expected it in many more.
Why now? To tear it all down?
Did you hear I’m doing well,
And want to take me diving down again?

It’s tempting.
You were my world.
I’ve expanded beyond you and I’m scared.

Why now? What’s changed.
I can’t sink into you again.
The love I fear I’ll never get again.

I don’t know what you’re like now,
But I know what you could be to me.
Temporarily,  then I get ruined again,  don’t I?

Never think I don’t want to get absorbed again,
But if you’ve learned how to treat a lover and a partner,
I don’t know it.

Do you just want to play house again?
Do you just want some practice?
Are you even capable of love for a lifetime?

I would have run with you to Argentina.
I would have kept you forever.

A second chance is tempting,  but it’s a no.  And a visit is no. And your voice and your hands and your eyes…

I can’t again. It’s broken,  it’s no.


2 responses to “You Were Unexpected

    • She called last night. I don’t know how she got my number; no one seems to know. Why last night? We jousted for four hours, and she wants me to drop it all and go with her again. “Don’t worry about money, I’ll send you a ticket.” “I’ve got magazine connections, your work will be published.”

      I don’t want that, but she’s really fucked with my head. Again. After nine years. How do people know when to hit you like that?


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